So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
