Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
