PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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