i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
