when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
