Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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