Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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