No more Irish car bombs ever.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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