the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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