Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
