Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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