life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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