your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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