I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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