Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
