dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
