I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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