drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Found your dick twin last night
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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