Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
