I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
