So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
