he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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