I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
