Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
