Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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