Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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