I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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