this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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