That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
