You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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