Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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