Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
