so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
