he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
