You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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