u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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