Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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