I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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