i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
