I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
