my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
