Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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