The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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