remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
