Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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