you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
