is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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