What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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