First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
