Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
